BLUE & GRAY

It’s like wishing for rain,

While in the middle of the desert

Looking out in the window,

In a very sunny weather

Why does rain still pour down;

When the clouds are now scattered?

Will the moon shine so bright;

When the sky is still blue?

I was about to arrive

There you go disappearing

You said you were there

Again, you just went missing…

It’s like I’m lost in translation

Though I know what I was meaning

Thought, really, I was fine

But I find myself thinking…

Said to myself, I am able.

Put it all together for I can do it all.

Thrown myself into believing

That I can always be anything

I cried out loud

Does anybody hear me, screaming?

I strained myself too much

Did someone see me attempting?

I was wishing, praying, hoping,

For I’m still hurting, breaking, burning,

Am I healing, recovering

From this pain I’m in…

I’m looking out for the sun

In the middle of a dark grey ceiling;

I was hurt to realize

That it was me I was searching…

What’s In Your Hand?

It’s been a year since I become part of and eventually committed myself to Lingkod and looking back on those days with the community had made me realize how empty my baggage was before compared to how grace-filled it is right now in terms of living the Christian way of life. For once, I thought living a good life – away from serious sin, living righteously, and doing upright deeds – was enough for me to be called a “good” Christian in its genuine essence; such was a superficial belief! Lingkod had taught me to deepen my once shallow understanding of my faith and how to live with it in a way that describes how I deserve to have and show how concrete is that faith. And one of those enlightening realizations, I learned through service.

November last year, I was asked to be part of the Finance Team as my service in Lingkod. The invitation seemed dreary for my part since I was eyeing a different kind of service and such assignment wasn’t that exciting because I will again be dealing with numbers as I am already bombarded with them at work; nonetheless, I accepted the call. As a newbie in Lingkod and still learning the way of things, I looked at my service as a mere support for my community–nothing more, nothing less and yet I embraced it with such enthusiasm; and as my service with Lingkod continues on, as well as the struggles (while being in the service) that keeps on striving to pursue us; my appreciation for it blossomed for what I’m seeing was the bigger picture – sharing in God’s great mission. No longer do I consider service as a mere help or aide to Lingkod; but rather a spiritual exercise – working for the Lord’s vineyard.

And for this year, a new phase comes as I was asked to head the team. There were ounces of doubt for I know it will entail a new level of commitment and a new responsibility. But the Lord’s calming words never fail to comfort me as I remember the story when God appeared to Moses to tell him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses didn’t believe he could do all God was asking him to do. God responded to Moses’ excuses by asking him, “What is that in your hand?” and Moses answered: “A staff” (Exodus 4:2). God then filled Moses’ staff with His power. What an assurance! God, indeed, equips those whom He calls. Even those who are already equipped, He empowers even more. It is also through my willingness to express further my love for Him that I accepted the service and it enables me to confidently say: “Here I am; You called me”. Though, what I was called to do will never be tantamount to what He has already done, is currently doing and will be doing to and for me in the course my entire life; never will I shy away from God’s call to serve Him and be a part of the task He had commissioned first to the twelve ordinary men.

My confidence for stepping up comes from the truth that God can use anything we are willing to offer Him to fulfill His purpose and carry out the mission; if He can use a tiny pebble to knock out a giant, a sturdy stick to part a vast sea, two baskets to feed a thousand or a mighty pen to spread His words—He can use whatever we have or what we are capable of doing. God will infuse His power into us and whatever He asks of us, through His strength, any feat is a winning battle.

He equips, He enables, He calls, He empowers.

To God be the glory.

KNORR

I lived in a house in San Juan,

where fifteen brothers lived as a family of one.

For three weeks we enjoyed the company of each other;

with lively spirits and God-centered characters.

I lived in a house in a very different way,
Quite intriguing, but all of them still chose to stay.

Possessing unique traits and personalities – 
a maybe hard-to-fit jigsaw puzzle pieces.

I lived in a house where the Lord resides,
His peace, fellowship and love, there abide. 

These fifteen brothers, all of them rare;
These fifteen brothers, never failed to show they care…

***

I start with POLI, whose story I’m in awe and I would bow:

hearing it lifts my spirit up and just makes me say: “Lord, can I just die now?”

With BERT – I see selfless service, great leadership and genuine humility;

And I can hear the sincerity if his funny expressions: “Ay, sorry…”, “Ay, grabe!”

To SAM, whose gentle and well-founded spirit I have seen,

has inspired me to be more consistent, which I have never been.

JHAO: the humble executive-slash-master chef; you showed true service in every single way.

Thanks Bro, for taking us around the world in twenty-two days!

To RAP, whose talents and gifts he willingly shared and showed.

Truly a proof that when we’re blessed, we give Him back the glory we owed.

PIT’s endurance, hard work and great service I give applause;

A true servant’s heart and brotherly love is its core cause.

MAC’s faith-driven words and experiences is what he have offered,

that makes me thirst for more and say: “Ano pa, Bro. Ano pa?” – that I’ll remember.

DOC IAN, kudos to your unfailing service, great advices, wisdom and offering help freely.

How I wish by the coming weeks, going to work, I can still say: “Doc Eee, isama mo kami…”

NALD’s dedication and solid industry reminds me to give my best in everything I do.

One thing’s for sure I wouldn’t do, though, “’pag gising ko, hindi na Night Prayer, Bro!”

MON’s willingness, jokes and great enthusiasm never did come into depletion,
Malayo na ang narating mo Bro, lagpas na sa Vito Crustacean!

Sensible humor, deep-rooted faith and sincerity, is what I’ve seen in CARLO;

Never will I hesitate to give thanks to you Bro and say: “salamat sa pag-aasikaso..”

CHARD’s apparent transformation will always inspire us to be in awe of what God has done,

I bet no one will now ever say: “Bahala kayo dyan…”

PAUL’s dedication and radical faith inspired me to be more God-focused,

Just like his ingenious strategies while playing Sequence and Blockus!

To CHAN, whose willingness and desires, I’ll honor him for, because it’s just.

Thanks Bro, for the company, at sa libreng pamasahe sa bus!

***

These are the brothers I’ve lived with in San Juan

– the Lord’s selfless servants, courageous soldiers and faithful sons.

I enjoyed every jamming sessions, sharing, meals and worship with all of you:

Pwede bang magrequest na mag-extend pa tayo?

You all truly magnify God’s presence and love.

He sees your intentions and authentic heart from high above.

I pray that you may still be engulfed by God’s power;

to serve, love, support and honor one another.

One last thing to remember, though,

If asked: “masarap ba ‘yan?”, then answer: “Syempre, may Knorr yan Bro!”

But when asked what’s behind my being a man of His honor, I will answer:

“I’ve lived in a house with brothers, we titled ourselves KNORR…”

A FULL HOUSE! (My Personal Sharing about KNORR HOUSEHOLD)

At the end of our last Driven Series Session, I was handed over a letter that contains an invitation to this year’s Brothers’ Household. Of course, I was at first not open with the idea for I was never comfortable living with people whom I just met. I never could imagine the major adjustment and adaptive mechanisms I would manifest and make use of if I would join these brothers in a house for three weeks. But with the innate gift of encouragement and convincing powers of my DGL and through God’s Grace, I gave my YES.

Fast forward and I have been called and chosen. I was amazed of the activities that brought together the brothers and seeing Jesus in our midst. Every moment spent with the brothers is a source of joy, inspiration and growth. In every life story and experiences we shared, wisdom unfolds. Every fellowship is an opportunity to deepen our relationship with another. Every meal shared around the table, makes you feel the spirit of unity and togetherness. And every morning and night prayer is an awe-inspiring and a wondrous scene to behold, truly a deep-seated and concrete manifestation of God’s work with all the brothers. All these situations really affirm what Jesus said: “where two or three gathered together in My Name, I am there in their midst.”

God’s ways of transforming me through the Brothers’ Household are somewhat unimaginable to think, that even the most negligible circumstances are being magnified – a missed 2-point shot during a basketball game will give you the most uplifting encouragements; a tap on the back, even when you mistakenly thrown a Frisbee disc to the opposing team; shouts of support just when you are about to serve the volleyball and then never even crossed the net; and joyous laughter with no hints of slur when your throat seems to be cut open just to hit a high-note during a videoke sing-off. In all these mundane situations, I can see Jesus – in a house full of His glory and holy presence.

Being counted by God to join the Household is both a privilege and a challenge – a privilege because I have seen His works in each brother and it makes me feel very excited of the things that He has in store for me in the future, the experience had humbled me to realize how great His plans against my own are. Through the Household, I was trained to live the Christian way of life and had learned to appreciate the eternal rewards of selfless service—this had posed in me a challenge as to how to sustain this kind of life aligned with His plans and then eventually reflect in myself the image of Jesus Christ who had set an example to lead by being a servant. But beyond these challenges, I have my faith built on solid rock.

By the end of the Household, I had one realization – that after attending the Driven Series and finally deciding to give my YES to Him, I had realized and seen how much He loves me, how He had blessed my life so much, how He sent Jesus to find me and how, in the end, He was actually waiting for my response. I know that by living the true Christian Life, I will be able to live my life to the fullest and experience that kind of life that the Lord wanted me to live by. By trying to become the best Christian I can be, I am able to become the best son, brother, friend, employee, and all the roles I’m given with. In trying to be like our Lord Jesus Christ, He is giving me the grace and strength to be the best John Lixter that He wants me to be, fulfilling His plans and surrendering to His will; although I will not be spared from the struggles and pains of life, what will make it different is the joy and hope that I put in Him and always recognizing that He is above everything, faithful, true and glorious!

To God, I bring all back the glory.

[August 25, 2014]

KON

Kon maitago mo eang ro ing pagkatawo
Sa pihak it mga duda ag pagbasoe nanda kimo,
Kon gasalig ka sing kabubut-on ag ro tanan nga tawo hay kimo gaduda
Pahauma eang ring kaugalingon sa mga pagduda ngara,
Kon makahueat ka nga owa nagauya ag natak-i,
Ukon ikaw hay ginapurilan, ayaw kara magpadaea ag magpati,
Ukon ikaw hay ginakaugtan, manami kunta kun imo ra nga pabay-an,
Ag indi ka magsalig nga ikaw hay mayad ag sayod mo rong tanan:


Kon may ginahinandum ka – ag owa mo man gali ginatinguha-a,
Kon may ginainisip ka – ag owa mo man lang ginapadayuna;
Kon hiagyan mo rong Kadaeag-an ag Kapirdihan ngara
Tratuha sanda it patas hay parehas malang sanda ra nga daywa;
Kon ro kamatuorang imong hinambae hay kaya mong mabati-an
Maskin pa raya hay mga kapurilan ag ikaw hay ginapaumangan,
O kundi, tan-awon mo ro mga butang sa imong kabuhi nga nasamad,
Ag imo rang ayuson para sing kaugalingon ag para man nga makaayad:


Kon makatipon ka it imong mga kadaeag-an
Ag sa isaeang ka sugae hay irisgo mo rang tanan,
Ag mapirde eang, maga-uman ka gid sa imong inumpisahan
Ag ayaw gid magsugid o magmitlang ko imong mga kapirdehan;
Kon mapwersa mo ro imong tagipusuon, kabaskog ag eawas
Nga serbisyuhan mo ring turno bago pa ra maduea ag eumampas,
Ngani magpadayon, baskuga ring buot bisan owa kimo it nahabilin eon
Kundi ro pamisaea mga magahambae: “Padayon!”


Kon makahambae ka sa tanang tawo nga may mayad nga kabubut-on,
O makipag-iba sa mga hari nga may mapainubuson nga tagipusuon,
Kon bisan sakiton ka it imong mga kaaway ag mga higugmaong amigo;
Kon ro mga tao hay gasali king maskin bukon it todo ag husto,
Kon mabatyagan mo ro mga minuto ag segundo nga ga-agi, may pueos kimo
Pagdiretso, daeagan hasta kung siin ka makaagto,
Imo ro kalibutan ag ro tanan nga mga butang nga una kara,
Ag eabi sa tanan, ikaw hay gabahoe, akong unga!

(A translation of "If" by Rudyard Kipling)

M R T

As the line stretches for a mile,

I'd noticed you forcing to hide a smile.

All these busy people passed on us;

As they try to choose between a train or a bus.

I lost you as you were swallowed by the crowd

My eyes looked for you there and all around,

But then I saw you there standing on the frontline,

I felt surprised and knew you were just fine

The train door opened to let us in

But the cruel crowd's frenzy now starts to begin.

Funny how I sat and you just stood;

To offer a seat with such a distance from you? Who would?

We already passed a number of stations;

But my mind still asked a lot of questions…

How? What? Who the hell are you?

Silly queries not answerable by Yes or No…

My android starts to play Taylor Swift's "Beautiful Eyes";

That's when I caught you looking at me--why?

Then comes the slowing down of the train,

Then wild synaptic impulse starts stirring in my brain.

The next stop is when I will be off,

A feeling of letdown starts to go aloft;

Then you stood too and readied to go out.

"What?!" -- was my mind's silent loud shout.

My thoughts keep on wandering,

On places, things, people and feelings.

Were you at the same pages as I am too?

Or this is just a stupid point of view?

I hope this'll be gone as too fast as it came;

For there's only one whom I'm going to blame.

For the last time, as I turned in the corner,

You just smiled while looking deeply far somewhere…

I stared at you walking away at the opposite track;

I hoped and wished, "Please, look back…"

You just walked, and walked, and walked on,

Until finally, and sadly you were gone…

SOAR!

Isaiah 40:31 says, "Those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."

***

Sometimes we feel we're not doing the things we ought to do – then boredom and insatiability come in. We struggle; we endure the status quo because we thought we are caged in the present moment and breaking through it would mean lots of chaos and then mending them again. And again. The vicious cycle continues. We are stuck. Sometimes we feel we should be doing something great, that we've been destined to do greater things. To be more!

But lately, I was reminded that where I am is where God wants me to be. As is. Where is. I was reminded that wherever I am standing, I can still see the same infinite parallel line stretching as wide as the earth – the horizon. He is constant.

God’s plan is greater than that of ours. We may be feeling that where we are or what we are currently doing doesn’t really count; doesn’t really matter much. That we should be in another place where we can tap our hidden potential and be great; that where we are right now only brings out the worst in us instead of the great things hidden within is; but God doesn’t make mistakes, He put you there because He plans that you will have your breakthrough there. He placed you there for a greater mission.

Endure the hardships, struggle with hope, and keep the faith… God’s greatest creations aren’t the shining stars or the vast galaxies, or the highest mountains or the majestic canyons – it’s YOU and ME. And He’s got big dreams and revealing plans for us.

Never be discouraged of the things that you think shouldn’t be happening. He planned them. Your struggles, your pain, your sacrifices are for His greater glory.

Never forget His faithfulness, never forget who you are, never forget to whom you belong.

Keep on keeping on. God is God. Allow Him to be Him.


#rock & #shield